Take your cell phone back, by Yaakov Schwartz

Hi, America. Yaakov Schwartz here. If you’re reading this it may already be too late. You have probably been taken advantage of by conglomerated industry in more ways than you can count. Guess what? You’re not alone. Statistics say that 100% of Americans are getting ripped off by companies that buddy up with their very limited competition to fix prices at a level that is satisfactory to them. I’m speaking about cell phone companies, power companies, cable companies as well as retail stores. The heads of these companies went to business school to learn how to maximize their profits by any means necessary. What that means to us is that CEO’s and company officials everywhere are teaming up and strategizing how to milk every last penny out of a quickly polarizing population. And who feels this the most? Certainly not the wealthy. They can take care of themselves. As the rich get richer, the poor are getting poorer, and lower-middle class Americans are spending more and more money on services that they are convinced are necessities.

There are several problems here:

 

1. Companies are banding together to set prices.
2. These same companies have established a culture of desire through continuous and aggressive advertising campaigns.
3. Because companies are so large, the customer has little to no leverage anymore. Customer service has taken a plunge.

 

Although monopoly is technically against the law, we shop at monopolized retail stores every day. Let’s say that Walmart and Target are the only stores of their kind in your area (which is highly likely). That means that a Walmart customer doesn’t have to be pleased to his own standards, he just has to understand that the customer service will be no better at Target. The companies understand this, and perform appropriately.

At the expense of sounding like an old man, I must say that there was a time before these problems existed. At that time, a store was owned by its proprietor, and he or she would pour their blood, sweat and tears into it. The customer was always right, because store owners understood that without the customer’s business, their stores would fold. As the franchise phenomenon began to snowball, more and more businesses were forced to sell out to them, and the chains began buying up mom and pop businesses in quantities. This effectively meant the end of customer service, the end of fair pricing, and the end of quality product. Before the chain store, a customer had the opportunity to leave and take his business across the street. Now, the store across the street has the same name as the one he just left.

This is not at all limited to retail stores, which operate relatively independently. What is absolutely astounding is that this phenomenon is sanctioned by the government. At last count, there were four major mobile phone companies servicing 300,000,000 Americans (legal citizens, anyway. Probably a lot more if you don’t rely on the census) with good chances of another major acquisition in the near future that would bring it down to three. The government, for its part, has lowered regulations barring any company owning as much stake in any region as they want.

In tandem with high rate plans and monstrous overage charges, cell phone companies are marketing new phones with features that a normal human being could not possibly need for any reason. However, through some sort of marketing genius, they have the masses convinced that all kinds of extravagant technological curiosities are essential for their happiness. Advertisements of dancing silhouettes and beautiful women bombard people from every available medium. You can’t walk by a bus without being hit by some sort of ad. People are spending good money on cell-phone mp3 players with video cameras, internet and e-mail. A higher-end device of that caliber runs for about $700. That’s a lot of cheese.

Now, by this time, you are probably saying to yourself “What does this mean for me?” Well calm down. We can’t organize a revolution if you’re wringing your hands and hopping from foot to foot. What we have to do is get organized. Fight this thing at the source. I’ve got a list of ideas. Now, you feel free to add any ideas you think are relevant or to critique my ideas; this is a democracy here. OK? Good.

The way I see it, this is a multi-faceted problem and it requires a multi-faceted solution. We are not dealing with one company here, we are dealing with a business model that is shared by roughly all of the major businesses in this country. In some cases we’re dealing with a way of life that’s ingrained into consumers. They may not come quietly. Well, I’d tell you to write your congressman, but he’s probably in on it. How do you think he was elected if not through aggressive advertising. In any case, we are to attack this problem on several fronts. The first is the simplest and may sound like a lot of fun to you. However, I caution you: do not get caught. You will spend time in the big house. What I recommend is that you go to your local Walgreens, Target, or whatever retail chain they are developing on that empty lot around the corner from you, and head right for the camping department. Get yourself a checkered hunting cap with ear flaps on the way, if possible. Now take some of that pre-packaged firewood and douse it with lighter fluid. I want you to make a small, contained campfire inside Walgreens. The goal of this procedure is not to harm anybody, or even to cause any damage to corporate property. It is simply a morale-building operation that will release your aggressions and help prepare you for the big fight. Hearing about Walgreens campfires occurring throughout the heartland of America will raise our spirits and unite us in our fight against corporate monopoly.

The second thing I recommend we do is a bit harder because it requires a long-term commitment. I say that we drastically reduce consumption. Throw your cell phone in the toilet, or at least lower your rate plan and use the phone only for necessities and not to talk to your girlfriend about what you are going to name your kids. If you are considering buying an iPhone, DON’T. What we are trying to avoid here is excess. If you have an $80 monthly plan with your mobile phone company, reducing it to $40 has just cut their profits in half. Get everyone on your block to do that and suddenly we have a voice.

Get rid of your premium channels. Get rid of your television completely, for that matter. But if you can’t bear to let your boob-tube go, at least cancel your fancy cable channels. They are the root of the problem. Not only is your cable company likely a monopoly and raping you on your monthly service rate, but the television advertisements aired during your favorite show are a primary cause of your need to buy.

Instead of driving your Navigator, walk to work. Ride a bike. Take the bus. The revolution needs healthy folks and ones that are conscious of what’s going on around them. That includes the environment. Oil companies have banded together to raise prices. Don’t give them your money willingly.

Turn off the lights when you leave the room. Don’t leave your computer running all day. Find ways to conserve power, because the electric companies are one of the highest levels of monopoly in this country today. You may not think that you’re paying so much on your power bill, but it’s likely a lot more than you should be.

If you follow these tips, two things might happen. One is that you might become a smarter and more conscientious person. You might find yourself reading a book at night instead of watching House. The other thing that might happen is that corporations may find their profit margins sinking, and just might start paying attention to their customers again. Right now they have all the leverage, but we can take it back. It will definitely require patience and sacrifice on our part, but bringing billion dollar corporations to their knees will make it worthwhile.

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